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Friday 22 August 2014

Reminder - Check out the Forum!

Hey all!  This isn't really much of a post, just a quick reminder that we have an awesome forum that you can check out by either clicking on "Forum" up at the top, or by clicking here.  See you there :).

Dog Training - Preparation

My boyfriend has a miniature poodle by the name of Honey.  It is evil.  This dog has every single bad behaviour that you could possibly think of.

The barking is one of the worst things that this little bundle of fire is capable of.  It's not a normal bark, either... it's a piercing bark.  You know, the one that makes you cringe as you feel the sound permeating through your brain as if someone rammed an ice pick into your eye and started stirring vigorously.

He also likes to bite fingers.  Not when you're doing anything - just when you're sitting there, watching TV, minding your own business.  He'll just stroll right up and bite down - hard.  The scratching that comes afterwards makes life even more fun.

Then there's the shit and piss.  It ends up all over, especially his favourite spot - the beautiful green shag carpet under the dining room table.  Every morning, my boyfriend and I wake up to at least 3 (usually more) presents of shit.  Sometimes I try to pick them up, but I usually end up almost vomiting, so my boyfriend ends up having to do it.

Once, the dog had diarrhea, and it spread everywhere.  He stepped in it and left little shit-prints all across the condo.  We had to throw out the welcome mat because it was so drenched in liquid shit - we used tongs to carry it out to the garbage chute, and down it went, smearing the whole way.  This lead to the dog being sent to my boyfriend's best friend, who is a huge dog person.

One week later, he gets a call from his friend.  She and her husband can't take it anymore and are sending the dog back to us because he's so horrible.  The dog arrives back here today.

I've had it with this little thing.  I'd get rid of it if I could, but I know it has sentimental significance to my boyfriend, so that's an absolute last resort.  Therefore, I have gone and purchased myself one of these delightful shock collars, pictured above.  The device is actually very sturdy and well-built - I'm impressed.  Very little assembly required - you just have to screw the electrodes onto the rechargeable collar and take the plastic off the battery in the remote.  It has a vibration button to use as a warning signal to your dog, and then it has 6 levels of shock, 6 being the highest and 1 being the lowest.  My mom tried the lowest setting, #1, and said that it was strange and "shocking" (pun intended), but that it was not too painful - so don't worry, it's not a torture device.  Want to try the collar yourself?  You can buy it here.

I am going to try this thing on the dog tonight in hopes that it will shut up and behave.  Poodles are supposed to be very smart, and I think this one is, because he is capable of opening sliding doors all by himself.  So if I'm lucky, it'll only take a few zaps, and the problem will be solved.  I'm willing to take much longer to teach that little shit if necessary, though.

Well, that's it for me for now.  I'll let you all know how it goes!  Also, if you care to try the collar on your dog, please consider using this link, as it supports me and my very pathetic budget :).  Thanks!

Tuesday 19 August 2014

My Gay Spiritual Thoughts

Hey people!  With all of my introductions squared away, I figured it would be good to start by discussing my experience in high school.  I went to a Catholic one, which made things... interesting.

When I started off, I identified as agnostic.  I went to Cardinal Newman Catholic Secondary School (which everybody just called CN), and I am assuming that CN's intention with their mandatory religion classes was to "inspire" students to take up the Catholic faith.  Interestingly, it had the complete opposite effect on me.  By the time my five years of high school (more on that later) were up, I had become a raving atheist, and Catholicism still gives me a bad taste in my mouth.  One of my favorite books, now, is actually A Universe From Nothing by Dr. Lawrence Krauss, which actually goes into incredible detail on the conceptual physics of why the universe doesn't actually need God.

To clarify, I mean atheist to mean exactly what the word implies.  The Greek prefix a means "not" or "without", and theos means "God", so atheist means "without God".  That by no stretch of the imagination means that I am not spiritual.  It just so happens that my spirituality and belief is rooted in science (albeit fringe science, but still), and revolves around the idea of balance in the universe.  Perhaps I'll write a more detailed post about my spiritual inclinations one day, but for now, suffice to say that I don't believe in organized religion.

We all know that Christianity isn't terribly fond of gay people.  After all, with the Westboro Baptist Church running the "God Hates Fags" campaign, who could possibly have respect for crazy religious radicals?  Funny enough, the founder of that whole movement, Fred Phelps, is quite dead now.  Looks like God hated him more than he hates us fabulous gays.  After all, according to the Bible, God is the creator of everything.  That includes rainbows, so he must like being fabulous too.

Then again, every once in a while, you'll get a respectable religious person who says something that is actually smart.  Take our friend Pope Francis, who once said, "If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?"  Now if only we could get him to endorse in vitro fertilization and stem cell research.  I must develop my evil gay agenda some more to make that happen.  Perhaps I'll use the allure of this adorable plush stem cell to win him him over.

Speaking of which, can someone please explain to me where the "gay agenda" myth came from?  That one has to be my favorite myth.  Yes, once a month, my boyfriend and I go to this creepy basement somewhere with all the other gay people of the city, and we hash out a plan to turn everyone gay.  No success yet, but we'll just keep trying.  That just sounds so ludicrous.

Well that's it for this post.  Next up, who knows.  Stay tuned!

Greetings!

My name is Alex, and I'm a 21-year-old gay man living up in the cold, blustery tundra of Canada.  Okay, maybe I'm pushing it.  I've started this blog to tell the tales of my adventures through life and the lessons I've learned, in the hope that it will help other LGBTQ teens and young adults find their place in the world.

I'm not your standard gay guy.  In fact, I don't think I own any article of clothing that is pink.  I wear mostly black and grey.  The only tip you get to the fact that I'm a raving homosexual is my blonde highlighted hair and product, but hey, I had to be fair and give the other guys at least something to work with.  Perhaps I'll wave my little rainbow flag if I want to be really obvious.

As much as I may feel drawn towards interior design and the fabulousness of all that comes with it, I am a scientist-in-training headed towards a career filled entirely with nerdy goodness.  For those of you who care, I'm aiming towards becoming a molecular neuroscientist, studying how biochemistry can be used to cleverly adjust the properties of your brain.  I also really like brains in jars, don't really know why.

Alright, well that's it for my short little introductory post.  More to come.  In the mean time, I'll just sit here 3D-printing a brain in my basement.

Now if that didn't paint a mad scientist picture in your head, I have no idea what will.